Statutory Warning : Men are requested not to go through the post , if they cannot handle it. You may not understand the logic behind the text , its highly complex for tiny brains to understand.
Should be around 98 ( dare you think , that is the number my weighing machine is pointing to ) ..I am talking about the number of articles I must have read.
Articles that pop up everywhere on : how to loose weight , how to control weight , how not to gain weight , why you put on weight etc etc..actually the rest of the sentence doesn't make much of difference , the moment I see the word WEIGHT..And as per my understanding and gut feel I am sure all girls end up reading them , they are as interesting as the Bollywood gossip of who is going around with whom types..
I start with every article with a weird motivation in my mind , as if this is it , this is going to change my life forever and I shall get out of this constant fight that goes on inside my mind every time a take a bite of chocolate ( bite = bar in my units ) , a sugar coated biscuit , haldirams , pizzas , golguppas , chappatis..phew..sometime I feel even for the air that I take in..for the count of calories that I gain..
As is evident reading these articles is of no good use..because I am not the kinds who will be eating broccoli for dinner..umm lunch..not even for breakfast..you have parathas in India
So the other instant idea that friends give "toh gym join kar lena yaar" . Though being in the era of technology , I hate technology to have been able to make it possible to see the number of calories you burn on a tread mill..200 calories for 30 mins of running , 30 mins of constant realization that you have grown fat enough , that you cant even run with a machine running beneath your shoes..this is not even 1/3rd of what you gain when you eat the lays packet which has more air than chips..in one day your whole motivation goes down the drain.. elite cost of membership ( wonder why they charge so heavy when it is we who is going to work out) , new gym wear..shoes (which you bought saying "bhaiya running shoes dikhao" ) ..everything goes down the drain..
After constant arguments and long held debates , we decided to get a weighing machine .Logic : if we will constantly monitor weight , it shall not increase.For every biscuit that I eat and every step that I take I stand and recheck my weight . But even this has not helped , as a matter of fact a 3 point increase has been noticed in the machine.We purposefully bought an analog one to allow delta error , wouldn't have been possible in digital. We try and put the blame on the machine , but it shows 5 kgs for the 5 kgs weights (stupid machine !!! ).
Last but not the least your girlfriends..they always pep you up by saying "Kahan se yaar..bilkul pata nahi chal raha" and "you look better than before"(which is a sure shot that you have gained)..
There are the other kinds as well ..those who are blessed with zero tendency of putting on weight..and you meet them and they say..you know I have like put on so much..and you look at her like an elephant looks at the ant..(she says she is fat..agrrr)
Off late I have been attributing it to age , gravity , water , weather , travel (Acts of god )etc etc etc..reasons which only a girl can understand..
I don't think this topic can ever come to an end , it hasn't for me for so many years..so I shall pause here..since I am not feeling very good about all this..I will go and have some maggi..
Whatttt maggi aint harmful..its something you eat when you don't know what to eat , when you are with friends , when its late in the night , when you are out at 1 in the night , when you are feeling low..its a legal stress buster..and you cant manage to eat it all alone(someone always pops up)..so I shall share the calories..maybe I shall be able to divide them this way..or till I find a better article..:)
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